He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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