I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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