Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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