Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I need to calm my uterus...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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