I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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