You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
