your room smells of hookers.
And success
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
