By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Shame is for Republicans.
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