I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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