I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize