Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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