i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
