I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
