I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
