She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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