She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
