..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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