Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
