it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
