I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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