Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
