Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize