Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
