Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
