i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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