my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
