im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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