update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
