god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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