get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
