i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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