She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize