But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Randomize
