didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
