and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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