So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize