If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She bit a glass in half.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
