I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize