i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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