she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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