i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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