so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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