Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
