Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
