dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
