my sisters under your porch take her home
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
