i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
