he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
