the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
did i walk over a car last night?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
