My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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