It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
