so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
