Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize