I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Randomize
