I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize