will power is for people who don't want to get laid
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
