Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
