Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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