i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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