we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Who died my cat blue again?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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