i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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