your thong is hanging out like whoa
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
