OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
