Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
