...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
