Umm I'm too high to move.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
