Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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