she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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