im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
