I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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