forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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