No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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