3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize