His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
