Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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