I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
