I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
