Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
