i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
