so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
