the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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