Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
