i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
