uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
