He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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